Book Review: Inside the Kingdom

My Life in Saudi Arabia
By Carmen bin Laden
Time Warner Book Group, New York, NY; 206 pp., 2004

Reviewed by Mark Biskeborn

In her memoire, Carmen bin Laden reveals her private trials and tribulations of life among the bin Laden family during the 70’s and 80’s. From her story we learn much of a woman’s life among the elite class of Saudi Arabia, including the Royal Family of Saud. She recounts her life as a young naïve woman, falling in love with an extremely wealthy Saudi, college days in Santa Monica California, and family life in Saudi Arabia.

Coming from an aristocratic Swiss mother and a high class Persian father, Carmen seems to have lived most of her youth under the protective bubble of wealth. When she marries into the wealthiest Saudi family, outside the Royalty, she knows and enjoys the life she’s accustomed to: wealth, carefree life, and freedom from worrying about petty things like how to pay a mortgage.

Unfortunately her aristocratic childhood did not prepare her for the real world. She married into one of the wealthiest families in the world, but she gradually learns that Saudi Arabia is neither carefree nor liberal in life-style—in fact, an extreme opposite.

For these reasons and more, it’s a little difficult to sympathize with a young, wealthy woman who is seduced by a tall, dark handsome young man who, oops, by the way, is a member of an extremely wealthy family and, oops, in one of the world’s most notoriously conservative theocratic countries.

Reality Check

At one point into Carmen’s story, it seems that any reader would ask: what planet did she come from? Okay, sure, the wealth may have lured her to her fiancé, Yeslam bin Laden—not easily attracted to, say, a lowly Swiss lawyer, much less a mechanic—but how could she possibly ignore that Saudi Arabia is one of the fiercest theocratic regimes?

How did she forget that it’s infamous for treating women on par with camels? To wit: her husband being the 10th son of Mohamed bin Laden who procreated over fifty-four children from some twenty-odd wives, not counting concubines (but who’s counting? – Osama being one of the fold).

Like the master of Gonzo Journalism, H.S. Thompson once said, “you buy the ticket; you have to take the ride.”

Carmen bought it big time. She slowly got herself into the pickle of a lifetime. Although told from the point of view of a princess mentality, one of an aristocratic beauty queen doting over her offspring, her story shows us many of the mores, customs, and attitudes in Saudi Arabia—contrasted with countries like the USA or Switzerland .

Unfortunately, she seldom, if ever, dips her pen into descriptions about the poor, the ordinary men and women who must suffer in this tyrannical theocracy. In fact, at one point, at an adult age of over twenty, her reaction to first seeing poor people is that of a shocked Barbie-doll who’d never stepped out of her gingerbread palace:

”When Yeslam took me to the carpet bazaar in Tehran to buy a Persian carpet, I saw terrible misery. Small boys and old men were doubled over under bales of carpets. They should have been in school, or at home—they seemed far too fragile to be working. Instead they were laden like donkeys. My life had been so sheltered. I had never seen such a thing I started crying. Yeslam took me back to the car. Our driver tried to console me. He said, “You think those people are poor? They’re lucky—they have work. I can take you to where families live in holes dug out of the earth.” It made it worse: I was inconsolable.”

Nor does she delve into any descriptions of the resentment that the little people harbor for these extremely wealthy bin Laden heirs, or worse yet for the Royal Saud family. She occasionally mentions the political tensions that the Saud Royalty tries desperately to hide from the rest of the world:

”One March morning in 1975, Yeslam woke me with the news that King Faisal had been assassinated—shot by one of his own nephews. I could feel his sense of panic and urgency. Saudi Arabia was in an uproar, Yeslam told me. It was claimed that the assassin was deranged, but most likely it was a revenge killing. Yeslam said: the murderer’s brother had been executed [beheaded] ten years previously for participating in a Islamic fundamentalist revolt against the King’s decision to authorize televisions in the Kingdom.”

The patriarch of the bin Ladens family, Sheik Mohamed bin Laden was a hard working Bedouin who rose from obscure poverty to become the construction entrepreneur. The Royal family gave all contracts Sheik bin Laden to build Saudi Arabia up from a donkey cross roads that now boasts of large palaces, modern roads and sky-scrapers.

She barely touches on how Saudi Arabia, with the military protection of the U.S., became a petro-wealthy, theocratic monarchy in which the Royalty hoards the wealth.

She does touch upon the general politics, but as an insider, she could have explained how the regime uses the mutawa, religious police, to keep the population under control despite their occasional attempts to overthrow the monarchy which supports the strict fundamentalism. Meanwhile the Saud Royalty enjoys a life of opulent luxury.

Yet she tells anecdotes even from her childhood that should have awaken her to the grim realities of theocratic regimes:

“When I was about seven, my grandmother’s household went into terrible turmoil when a cousin of my mother’s, Abbas, was arrested and tortured by the Shah’s fearsome SAVAK secret police. They claimed he was a member of the Communist Tudeh Party.”

Perhaps she needed to leave Switzerland and live in the gloomy land of Saudi Arabia to learn her lessons first hand.

A Country of Contradictions

Rarely, she tells only in implicit subtext how the Saudi Royalty walks a fine line between
• luxurious, decadent life abroad while supporting Wahhabism in their country (a theocratic conservatism—a dream come true for our own neoconservatives like Bush & co.?)

• Royalty indulges in lavish lifestyles while enforcing tight restrictions on the ordinary people

• obtaining military support from the U.S. in exchange for a reliable flow of oil, while its Wahhabi brand of Islam condemns the West, especially the U.S. for its decadence

• wanting to modernize with high technology while imposing ancient Islamic law (shariah)

• imposing an extreme theocratic conservatism while hoping for a vibrant, diversified economy

• restrained or restricted relationships between men and women has caused increases in homosexual activities normally forbidden in Islam but tolerated nevertheless

Yet never does she delve openly into this subject. Perhaps it will be the subject of her next book.
She seems to beg for acceptance into the American way of life by apologizing for her affiliation with the bin Laden family.

”I issued a statement saying that my three girls and I had had no connection whatsoever with this evil, barbaric attack on America, a country we loved and whose values we shared and admired. ”

Her memoire focuses rather on the experiences of a woman, falling in love, and doing what Islamic women seemed programmed to do most –much like the Catholics in places like South America: they have babies. It’s their goal in life? Their ultimate achievement?

In this sense, Carmen’s memoire resembles that of Princess by Jean Sasson, but even in Sasson’s memoire (as told to her by a direct descendant of King Abdul Aziz), we find a woman who, despite larger aspirations, was condemned to accomplish but one goal: breed sons for the patriarchy.

And this is what Inside the Kingdom does best. It boldly displays the plight of women who live under the restrictions of Islam, although it goes no farther than the abuse of extremely wealthy women in Islam.

Carmen delivers a stark and unrelenting portrayal of her own life in her perfectly smooth gold fish bowl in the Saudi kingdom. Though readers must wade through some of her pet peeves about her in-laws — their bad taste in furniture, their cattiness and their unwillingness to accept her because she was a foreigner — we are given a painful picture of what it is like for a woman raised in the West to spend nine years living under the strict rules of Saudi tradition and Islam.

Granted, she lived in luxury and took regular trips to Europe, where she bought designer clothing, furs and jewelry, books and magazines. But when she was in Saudi Arabia, she wore a black abaya over her couture when she went out in public. She was often not allowed to dine with her husband when there were other men at the table.

Carmen now divorced and living in her native Switzerland, says she spent nearly a decade in Saudi Arabia because she believed that the surging economy and Western influences would eventually make life easier for Saudi women.

How to survive in a Theocracy: Escape

Instead, Carmen watched as political events such as the Saudi support of Afghan Muslims against the Soviet invasion beginning in 1979 turned the country backward to more conservative neo-conservatism. Ultimately, it was her husband's infidelity and a fear that her three daughters would become religious fanatics forced to live the incarcerated lives of typical Saudi women that pushed her to break her ties with the Bin Laden family.

Carmen's story is a courageous one. To stand up as a woman and share her personal experiences and feelings about the Bin Laden family's daily life in Saudi Arabia is a bold act. Her dissent showed a rare and dangerous defiance from an intolerant theocracy.

Rules to Live by in a Theocracy

The memoire offers many compelling facts about life in Saudi Arabia:

• Saudi Arabia is still run by the aging sons of the original King Aziz who united the vast wasteland of desert under fundamentalist teachings of a seventeenth century cleric who founded the Wahhabi movement

• Wahhabi is one of the most fundamental interpretations of Islam and its religious police, mutawa, apply it in part to maintain control of the ordinary people who typically resent the monarchy and its support of theocracy

• The Koran is practically the only source of culture and learning for a vast majority of ordinary people (not unlike the Bible in South America) where cinemas and bookstore don’t exist and where books are banned and censured in the mail (except for the prominent families)

• Royalty and wealthy families, like the bin Ladens, live several steps above the law

• Wealthy Saudi's typically live dual lives. One inside strict Saudi Arabia where they play up appearances of piety, and another overseas where all their pent-up desires overflow in extravagance and decadence

• The Saudi royal family was terrified to see what happened to the Shah of Iran and immediately overcompensated by placating the Wahhabi with even more money and power than ever to prevent a similar problem

• The bin Laden family members were most likely complicit in the fundamentalist take-over of Mecca and especially the most sacred Islamic shrine, the Kaaba, since company trucks were used to get the fighters in there and the bin Laden organization had the only detailed maps of the place

• The family clan unit (all the sons and daughters of one powerful father) is an ironclad bond when faced with threats from outsiders. By virtue of this, despite public statements, the bin Laden family has NOT disowned Osama

• Osama bin Laden is an overwhelming hero in Saudi Arabia. If an election were held today, he would probably win. This mainly because few of the ordinary people respect the hypocritical regime of the Royal Saud family and many common people outside the el Nadj region resist the Wahhabi Puritanism even though Osama also follows a strict fundamentalism

• Saudi family life retains customs from pre-Islamic tribal days as well as the rules of behavior laid out in the Koran. The sexes have separate houses. Men can be married to up to four wives at once and any number over a life time

• To divorce a woman a man must simply recite "I divorce thee" three times and it is done. The divorcing husband can take possession of the children by simple personal choice

• A woman has virtually no rights at all. She must obtain permission from her male guardian to take most any of the simple liberties such as eating at the table, going to the market, when to speak…and written permission from her male guardian to travel abroad

• The appearance of devotion to religion is very important along with the ancient tribal virtue of honor. Keeping appearances is vital for social respect and reputation…more important than telling the truth

• Ruthlessness is a positive value in the desert. Honor comes not from compassion or good deeds; it arises from an absolute power over women

• Despite the Royal family’s attempts to maintain an appearance to the rest of the world that the country lives in peaceful harmony, many internal rivalries brood between the heirs of the huge fortunes. Indeed, the various regions of the country include people from different tribes, clans, and religious affiliations who occasionally attempt to revolt or to overthrow the Royalty’s authority

• Men exercise absolute power of women. The eldest patriarch of a family, a husband, father, older brother can impose life or death punishment over “their” women who are never legally considered adults

• Islam is a way of life, with detailed rules of conduct; not just a general guide of theological beliefs

Mark Biskeborn is a writer. You can email him